Note: this blog post was written in 2018. Though I have grown and matured in the two years since it was written, it’s always nice to go back and reflect on what had been and what will be. When I write this, I was in a place where I was frustrated with my lack of growth and lack of a clear career path. Since then, I’ve learned that growth isn’t completely linear and I am more at peace with myself than I was before.
Even still, I hope you enjoy.
Have you ever tried to keep a schedule and it fails every single day? Have you ever tried to use a planner after graduating from college, but you work in a medical field where HIPAA is uber important (as always) and you are terrified of writing down names in fear of someone recognizing them? Are your days always so different that a planner doesn’t work? Like, at all?
If you’ve experienced any of these things, then I feel you.
On a spiritual level.
Ever since I graduated from college, I’ve been trying to keep a consistent schedule. My work days are consistent: Monday through Friday with two days where I come in at 10:30 a.m. instead of 7 and every weekend off. I do almost the same things every day, but I can’t–with good conscience–put these things into a planner without fear of violating HIPAA. I’ve tried bullet journaling, putting my schedule into my phone and laptop, even writing things down, but I just can’t get it right.
It’s like I lack structure because of my limitations.
And I like structure.
But my structure is easily broken because I have ups and downs (I tend to have a breakdown every couple of months), I don’t know how to articulate things I need to do into a schedule, and when I schedule things, they always seem to go awry.
For example: I have a YouTube page and another blog here on WordPress that have to do with books.
Ever since I started the blog, I’ve tried to keep a consistent schedule. Once every two weeks, I wanted to post something new that had to do with books, publishing, or something in that world. It worked out for a couple of months, but then I noticed that if I didn’t have a book to review, I didn’t have a blog post. I didn’t have a backup, and so my posting schedule suffered and dwindled down to one post a month, two if I was lucky.
My YouTube page is just an amalgamation of bookish things that I’ve done, but I’m terrified of being just like everyone else and I don’t know what I can do to diversify my content. Not only that, but my life is boring and I have a deal set up with a family member that makes it possible for me to only get one book a month, after I edit and upload a YouTube video followed with a blog post.
And I’ve suffered because of that.
Because of these factors, I feel lost. I want to work in publishing and I always hope that my blog and channel reflect that, but then I get stuck and don’t know what to do, so my perceived schedule suffers and I suffer along with it. I go around and around in circles of applying to jobs but not getting them because of lack of experience or some other factor, and there is no way to get the publishing experience I need because I live in an area where there are more medical facilities than office-like jobs and the nearest metropolitan area that offers something similar to what I like is at least two hours away.
I guess that what I’m trying to say is that I’m drowning and I don’t know if I can swim well enough to survive.
With that being said, I have a couple of questions. I would like to do freelance writing, book reviews, and practice with my video editing skills. What are the best ways to do that? Where do I start? And how do I keep a consistent schedule?
If you have any ideas or can relate, don’t hesitate to let me know!
For resources and ways to donate while protests continue, while people need saving, and even beyond: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ and also https://dotherightthing.carrd.co/
kannaree.com 